夫妻吵架

 

 

 

 

 

  夫妻是緣,不管是善緣,或是惡緣,總之無緣不相聚。王子與公主結婚後並不是從此就過著幸福快樂的日子,事實上婚後的柴米油鹽、子女教育、理財觀念、彼此的個性與生活習慣等等…才是真正試煉的開始。

  其實,夫妻相處也是一種修行,佛陀在《善生禮六方經》中曾提到做丈夫的應以五件事善待妻子,分別是:一、以禮相待,二、莊重威嚴,行為不可放蕩;三、要供給妻子衣食;四、女為悅己者容,應給妻子合理的錢財,讓妻子打扮;五、委付家中事務;而身為妻子的也應以五件事回敬於夫,分別是:一、早起,二、後坐,三、講話要溫柔和順有禮,四、敬順,五、先意承旨。

  本經中的男女主角就是波斯匿王與茉莉皇后,他們篤信三寶並坐享榮華富貴,但夫妻生活卻非外人所想像的一帆風順。就跟一般的夫妻一樣,他們也會爭吵,也有意見不合的時候。而 世尊有時會成為他們婚姻觸礁時的諮商對象,適時地給予他們開導。

  每當看見有吵到不可開交、婚姻即將瀕臨崩盤的夫妻,我總是想起「莫忘初衷」這句話,很希望他們能回想一下當初看上對方且願意與之攜手走入禮堂的因緣究竟是什麼。願天下有情人終成眷屬,但更願成眷屬者仍是有情人。

選譯自南傳巴利英譯《本生經》

喬正一譯於中華民國一○一年四月二十二日星期日八關齋戒日

  這是一起有關波斯匿王與茉莉皇后間夫妻吵架的事。當時,世尊就住在舍衛國祇樹給孤獨園林裡。

  有一天,波斯匿王與茉莉皇后在宮廷裡發生爭執,大家都說成是”後宮的爭吵”。

  當時,波斯匿王很生氣,氣到故意不跟茉莉說話,並且冷落她,忽視她的存在。

  茉莉心想:「世尊應該不知道國王非常的氣我。」

  然而 世尊早已知悉了一切,並決定親自出面替這對歡喜冤家排解紛爭。

  於是,第二天一早, 世尊著衣持缽,帶領著五百位比丘一起走入了舍衛城,並進入皇宮裡。

  波斯匿王一見到 世尊與眾比丘,心中非常的歡喜,並親自迎接他們,並帶領他們就坐,為他們準備清水洗手,親手奉獻供養米食及糕餅。

  就在波斯匿王將食物放進 世尊的缽裡的那一刻, 世尊將缽給蓋上,這一個舉動讓波斯匿王相當錯愕。

  「陛下,皇后現在人在何處呢?您對她做了什麼處置嗎?」世尊問道。

  「哼!她啊,簡直是恃寵而驕,得了大頭症,已經忘了自己的身份!」波斯匿王仍是忿忿不平地埋怨道。

  「陛下,別忘了當初是誰將茉莉給娶進門,又是誰給予她這麼崇高的地位喔!現在僅因為她冒犯或頂撞到您,就排擠她,這就是您的不對了!」

  波斯匿王聽到佛陀的這番話,心中的怒氣立即平息了下來,於是他派人去請茉莉皇后出席,茉莉一走到皇宮,見到了 世尊,心中的歡喜實在難以言喻,立即上前頂禮,並親自為 佛陀及僧眾服務。

  「你們夫妻倆從今起要和諧的相處,知道了嗎?」 世尊殷切的叮囑。

  而從那一次起,他們夫妻倆已懂得惜緣,彼此快樂地生活在一起。

原文/
This story was told by the Master while dwelling at Jetavana, about queen Mallika.
One day, they say, there was a dispute at court between her and the king. Men still
speak of it as the ' Harem Quarrel.' The king was so enraged that he ignored her existence.
Mallika thought : " The Master, I fancy, knows not how angry the king is with me." But the Master knew all about it and resolved to make ieace between them . So early in the morning he put on his inner garment and taking his bowl and robes he entered Savatthi with a following of five hundred brethren and came to the palace gate. The king took his bowl from him, brought him into the house, and placing him on the seat prepared for him, pom-ed the Water of Donation on the hands of the Brotherhood with Buddha at their head, and brought them rice and cakes to eat. But the Master covered up his bowl with his hand and said, " Sire, where is the queen ? "
" What have you to do with her, Reverend Sir ? " he answered. " Her head is turned, she is intoxicated with the honour she enjoys." "Sire," he said, "after you yourself bestowed this honom- on the woman, it is wrong of you now to get rid of her, and not to
put up with the offence she has committed against you."
The king hearkened to the words of the Master and sent for the queen. And she ministered to the Master. " You ought," he said, " to live together in peace," and singing the praises of the sweets of concord he went his way. And from that day they lived happily
together.
The Brethren raised a discussion in the Hall of Truth, how that the Master had reconciled the king and queen by a single word. The Master, when he came, inquired what the Brethren were discussing, and on being told said, " Not now only. Brethren, hut formerly
too I reconciled them by a single word of admonition." And he told an old story.

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